I Wasn’t Ready

The promotion I never expected became the leadership journey I never knew I needed.

Lately, I've found myself reflecting on some of the lessons the workplace has quietly taught me over the years.

Not the achievements people usually see.

The moments that challenged me.

The moments that exposed me.

The moments that forced me to grow.

One of those moments began with an opportunity I never expected.

If I'm being honest, I wasn't planning to become a supervisor.

I was actually planning to leave.

By that point, work had become incredibly difficult. Some personalities were extremely challenging to work with, and over time I found myself doing something that wasn't like me at all. I stopped talking. Not completely. Just enough to get through the workday. The conversations became shorter, and I only spoke when it was necessary.

Looking back, I didn't have the language for it then.

Today, I do.

I don't think I felt psychologically safe.

Then, completely out of the blue, I was offered the position of Supervisor.

My first thought?

"Well allyuh crazy."

(For my friends outside of Trinidad and Tobago, that's our way of saying, "Are you all serious?")

In the back of my mind, I had already convinced myself that the only reason I was being offered the position was because I was the only viable full-time nurse available. The former supervisor had been replaced, the transition was a difficult one, and there were strong feelings surrounding that change.

My only real leadership experience up to that point had been serving as class president during nursing school. Ironically, one of the people who had walked that journey with me was our vice president. While the class presidents changed over the years, he remained the vice president throughout our training. He was a natural leader, and I respected him tremendously.

Years later, we found ourselves working together again.

One day, he looked me in the eye and told me he had zero confidence in my ability to be a supervisor.

That one stung.

Not because I couldn't handle criticism.

But because it came from someone whose opinion genuinely mattered to me.

Looking back now, I realize leadership has a way of revealing things about yourself that you never knew were there.

It exposed parts of me that needed developing.

I had to become more comfortable having difficult conversations.

I had to learn that trying to keep everyone happy isn't leadership.

I had to develop a little more backbone.

But leadership also revealed strengths I didn't fully appreciate at the time. I discovered that administration was one of my strengths. Building relationships was one of my strengths. Helping people navigate challenges was one of my strengths.

Thankfully, I also had a supervisor who didn't just hand me a title and walk away. She challenged me. She supported me. More importantly, she kept reminding me of the authority I held in that role, even when I struggled to see it in myself.

It took me years to fully accept it.

Today, I still don't know whether I was chosen because someone saw potential in me, because I happened to be available, or perhaps a little of both.

What I do know is this:

I wasn't ready.

But ready or not... here I came.

Looking back, I don't think leadership was looking for someone who already had all the answers.

It was looking for someone willing to grow into them.

Sometimes we spend so much time waiting until we feel ready...

...that we miss the opportunities that were designed to make us ready.

Have you ever looked back at a role and realized it became one of the greatest periods of growth in your life?